Sean Hurley spent the better part of a month trying to fix his website on 1and1. I spent the morning and came up with this solution:
Just add this: AddType x-mapp-php5 .php to you .htaccess file. Insert rant about how much I hate shared hosts.
If you ever get pissed off at a shared host again I would suggest getting a Linode.
You are not lost. You are one link away from your destination.